Feeling Sad

Sometime in November, I received a weird message on my answering machine. A man named Steve said that my dad wanted him to call me and for me to call my dad. Before I looked at my caller I.D., I thought to myself, um, my biological dad died. My step-dad doesn't even know my home phone number. I looked at mycaller I.D. and recognized the area code, it was Luke's dad, Ollie. I tried calling him, but he didn't answer. I called Luke's sister, but she didn't answer either. I was worried. I called Steve and spoke to him. I asked him if Ollie seemed like he was drinking or smelled like alcohol. He said no. I told him that I was going to call his local police to do a well check on Ollie. Steve decided to go back to check on Ollie and I was able to talk to Ollie. Ollie said that he had a great idea that he should sell his home and move near us. He seemed so off to me. Since Steve was there, I asked him to ask Ollie to smile to see if only half of his face smiled. Then, I asked Steve to ask Ollie to lift both arms up, and both went up, but only one went up highter. I told Steve to call 911 and tell them that they suspect that Ollie had a stroke. But, before he could do that, the police officer showed up to do the well check and then, Luke's sister got a hold of Steve, too. The police officer did not think that Ollie had a stroke, but thought that he might have been drinking.

The next day, the officer did a repeat check on Ollie and called Luke's sister. Ollie wasn't doing well and if something wasn't done, then he would have to take Ollie in on a 51/50 (psychiatric hold). Luke's sister went to see her dad and it turns out that Ollie did not have a stroke, but he is suffering from dementia. I'm not sure if it's Alzheimer's or not, but he's very forgetful. He pretty much stopped taking care of himself in a safe manner, so Luke's sister decided to move him into an assisted living home. Luke's sister informed me that Ollie has a lump under his arm, so last Wednesday, he had a biopsy done.

Since I met Ollie back in early 1995, he has had lymphoma, prostate cancer twice, basal cell removed from his face, and has had melanoma removed his body several times. He is such a fighter and has beat everything that he ever faced. Just in the last several years, he had cataract surgery on both eyes. He's a spry old man who road his BMW motorcycle all of the time, even 4 hours to our house and 4 hours back to his house in one day; crazy man! He's close to 80 years old.

The biopsy came back as melanoma. My heart sinks. Melanoma is so vicious and takes a person's life very quickly. 6 years ago, we were told that melanoma does not respond to chemo. Radiation and surgery were the only things that helped save a person's life. Melanoma sucks.

I didn't have the nerve to ask Luke's sister any serious questions. I just felt like I was punched in the heart. I feel bad for Ollie. I feel bad for my children because I'm pretty sure that melanoma will cause Ollie's death, and it's the same thing that caused their father's death. Luke's sister has had pre-melanoma removed from her body. I feel like the chances of my children getting melanoma has increased dramatically because Luke and his dad both have had it. It makes me sad. This morning as I was doing dishes, I realized that Kyle's the last male of the family with Ollie and Luke's last name.

We're going to see him in a few days. Thankfully, Tessa will be able to join us. I'm pretty sure that will be the last time that Tessa sees him. I'm hoping that we will be able see him once a month before he dies. It breaks my heart that Ollie doesn't have any family close by. I'm so grateful that Luke was surrounded by his family when he took his last breath. I thought about offering to brink Ollie here to live the rest of life, but I don't think I could handle another man dying in my house in front of my eyes. I don't think it would be fair to my children either. My heart hurts and I'm sad.