tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-171073492012-01-28T11:12:27.591-08:00The Dusty LifeDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.comBlogger7441100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-3154673104286696272012-01-28T08:08:00.000-08:002012-01-28T08:08:41.921-08:00The Million Dollar QuestionDid I sign up for eHarmony? Yes, I did, but I only signed up for a month.
The first morning after I signed up, I had buyer's remorse. I tend to have that every time I buy something expensive. $59.95 is expensive to me. It's just my nature.
Before I signed up, I spoke to Kim about online dating. She asked me if I would go out with someone who wasn't attractive. I've done that before in Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-26751189527141244232012-01-23T21:30:00.000-08:002012-01-24T08:51:24.069-08:00Should I????So, one of my things to do in 2012 is to start dating. I miss being in a relationship and it's been a long time. Let's go through memory lane for a second.
My last first date was so long ago that I can't even remember who it was with. Luke and I were friends before we started dating. The last boyfriend before Luke, was also a friend too. The last first kiss I had was on November 17th, 1994,Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-68481610241798445652012-01-22T19:31:00.000-08:002012-01-22T19:31:47.336-08:00Change is in the Air...Figuratively speaking, I shot myself in the foot when I failed my Anatomy & Physiology class. Not only will I have to pay the financial aid back, I have been dismissed from receiving financial aid in the future from this college. At first, I cried. I'm a really good crier, thanks to therapy. I felt devastated because the extra money helps and having to pay back last semester's financial aid Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-46698775294026668202012-01-12T14:22:00.000-08:002012-01-12T14:22:55.192-08:00Feeling SadSometime in November, I received a weird message on my answering machine. A man named Steve said that my dad wanted him to call me and for me to call my dad. Before I looked at my caller I.D., I thought to myself, um, my biological dad died. My step-dad doesn't even know my home phone number. I looked at mycaller I.D. and recognized the area code, it was Luke's dad, Ollie. I tried calling Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-48594539636542819772012-01-11T15:32:00.000-08:002012-01-11T15:32:34.231-08:00So Unsettled....Since I failed my class, I have to pay back my financial aid. I was told that it will be prorated, but I'm not holding my breath. I feel so sick about it.
I wanted to repeat the class this spring semester but the two classes are full and the waiting lists are full, so now I'm going to take Micro Biology. It's equally as difficult as my previous class. I'm also taking a running fitness Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-82006065333248537402012-01-09T22:47:00.000-08:002012-01-09T22:47:53.727-08:00Our Cruise AdventureAfter Christmas of 2010 and having to help clean Kyle and Bethany's bedrooms and seeing how much stuff they had in their rooms, I decided that I'm absolutely sick and tired of clutter. I informed them that next Christmas was going to be different; we're going to create memories instead clutter. I told them that we were going to go on a family trip somewhere and that would be my Christmas Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-4394456794911924752012-01-08T12:49:00.000-08:002012-01-08T12:49:11.625-08:00My accomplishments for 2011I did everything on my list for 2011, except for one thing. It will go on 2012 list.
Go to family camp again! (5/11)
Sod the backyard and get Bethany's swing set. (3/11)
Replace the bathtub in the hall bathroom.
Road trip to meet Dede's. (6/11)
Visit Tessa and go camping with her.(6/11)
Zip lining with Tessa. (6/11)
Get an A in Biology 107. (Got a B 6/11)
Win another scholarship! (Won 2 Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-71701879239048491332012-01-01T23:10:00.000-08:002012-01-01T23:10:03.471-08:00Counting my blessings again...After Luke died, I took the kids to grief counseling for families. The facility was 40 miles away from our house and it was in the evening time. One night, while I was driving and just passing where Luke is buried, I noticed that my van sounded sort of funny. I thought about turning around and going home, but I decided to just go anyway. I was always making excuses not to go and I felt like Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-54779035759478582452011-12-31T21:10:00.000-08:002011-12-31T21:10:40.086-08:002011 Year in ReviewWow, this has been an amazing year and another year of a lot of firsts!
The first thing that is most amazing to me is my height. I always thought that I was 4 feet 11 1/2 inches tall. I have measured myself in the last year and realized that wasn't the case and it was confirmed last week during my annual physical. I'm officially 4 feet 10 inches tall. According to Wikipedia, a dwarf is a Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-34630412872546911282011-12-14T18:25:00.000-08:002011-12-14T18:25:54.444-08:00Ho-HumI haven't felt like writing because I just don't feel like it. I did not pass my class and it was devastating to me, but it is what I deserved.
Two of the puppies are going home in a few days. I wish all of them would go home this weekend, but that's not going to happen. It's really Sofie and Mocha who really are driving me crazy. Oscar is the oldest, and he does everything first. He was Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-54832134420648363162011-12-08T17:28:00.000-08:002011-12-08T17:28:20.505-08:00Oh my, DustyI'm disappointed me with myself, but there's a lesson to be learned.
Today was my last day of my Anatomy and Physiology class. I know that I'm getting a D in the class. I thought that I wanted to squeak by with a C, but in reality, I didn't want to because I didn't put forth the effort. Sure, I went to class, but I never read the book. I tried to study, but I could never pin myself down and Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-8054524841037862182011-11-30T13:56:00.000-08:002011-11-30T13:56:53.358-08:00My poor mama...Think back to 25 days ago today, does that seem like a long time? That's 3 weeks and 4 days ago. In the scope of a life time, it's just a very brief moment in time. For kids, it seems like forever. For us, it sometimes feels like it flies by and we can't even remember three and a half weeks ago. It's 5 days shy of one month.
My poor mama was due with me on November 5th, and didn't give Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-23923655420178869922011-11-25T17:59:00.000-08:002011-11-25T17:59:45.504-08:00Proud MamaMy boy was very sweet and wanted to raise money to buy Bethany a Nintendo 3DS for Christmas. He and Tessa conspired and came up with a game plan. He was able to raise the money before Bethany's 8th birthday, so she got it on her birthday. She was thrilled!!! Kyle felt like a million bucks.
For the last few Christmases, we were doing the "Want, Need, Read, and Wear". The kids got one from Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-32977871948919245532011-11-13T13:12:00.000-08:002011-11-13T13:12:02.877-08:00ForgivenessI have had a chip on my shoulder and didn't know it until this morning.
I weighed myself this morning and saw that I was 154.3 lbs. I've been hovering around the 154's for a couple of weeks now. I'm down about 2 lbs, which is great.
I got into the shower and I was thinking about how much better I feel right now. I feel at peace with Caitlin and I didn't realize how much my soul needed to Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-84676834274605762642011-11-07T21:11:00.000-08:002011-11-07T21:11:40.749-08:00Sweet!!!!I am so pleased with myself! I got a B on my 3rd exam in my A&P class. I'm still waiting to find out my lab practical grade. I'm hoping that I passed it!
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-9900124736299985562011-11-06T14:28:00.000-08:002011-11-06T14:28:23.150-08:00I did it!!!My best-friend, Kim and I have been walking and running since June. I talked her into signing up for our local 5K marathon. Our original intentions where to run the entire 5K, we had to restructure our plan. We decided that we would run when we could and walk when we needed to catch our breath.
This morning was our 5K. I shared with Kim that my ego was hoping that we wouldn't come in dead Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-54431356144668946642011-11-04T10:14:00.000-07:002011-11-04T18:40:30.908-07:00Out there....I mailed the letters on the 2nd, so she could have received them yesterday or she will get them today. I was so nervous about putting my letter in the mail. A part of me wanted to get the letter back from the mail lady, so I could open it up and reread it one more time to make sure that it was okay and to double check the photos that I put in the envelope. I resisted the urge and let it go. IDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-3645538852064928112011-11-01T18:58:00.000-07:002011-11-04T09:53:34.890-07:00A little bummed.I know that my mom is my mom and I love her unconditionally. There are times when I wish she was a little different than who she is. I don't judge her and I accept her for who she is.
I'm excited that Caitlin wrote me a letter. My mom was interested, so I read it to her. She was very happy for me. I asked my mom if she wanted to hear the letter that I wrote to Caitlin, but she said no. ADustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-24351781131987785532011-10-31T11:02:00.000-07:002011-10-31T11:02:48.223-07:00DoneNot last night, but the night before, I finally completed my girl's letter. It felt right, but I still wasn't sure. I'm glad I waited because life changed in our home by 5, and it made a huge impact on my mental health. I revised her letter and will print it today to mail tomorrow.
Both kids wanted to write her a letter too. Kyle's described himself and his likes. He also informed her that Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-50772995332768551142011-10-23T23:57:00.000-07:002011-10-23T23:57:56.090-07:00MaybeI think I finally have finished my girl's letter. It was challenging to say the least. I wanted to say so much, but I'm afraid of scaring her away. I know that she wanted to know about me, but I didn't want it to seem like I was on an ego trip or something. I thought about how to give her an image of who I am with stories about me.
For example (paraphrasing here), I wrote that I love to Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-47748079980504398212011-10-21T12:28:00.000-07:002011-10-21T12:28:11.300-07:00Powerful ThoughtsMy professor says that if you're walking around saying that you are depressed, you will become depressed. You believe what you think. I really am trying to change my thoughts because I'm really hard on myself. I definitely feel like I'm in a major funk and I hate it.
I know that life is all about the journey, not the destination. I keep reminding myself that enjoy today and not focus so muchDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-23947596935437739952011-10-18T20:44:00.000-07:002011-10-18T20:44:27.891-07:00ReliefAfter a lot of thought and soul searching, I have decided that I'm going to change my career goal. I cannot see myself being a nurse, and it all feels wrong. I'm going to continue on with psychology. I was very engaged with in those classes and I enjoyed taking them.
This feels like the right decision for me. I resigned as an intern and I feel 100% better. Now that I know that I'm not Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-11231347088148736802011-10-17T13:54:00.000-07:002011-10-17T13:54:02.983-07:00ChoicesI've started the letter to my girl many times and crossed out and deleted and rewrote it many times. I'm still thinking about exactly what I want to say. My emotions have settled and I'm able to sleep. I'm still concerned about saying too much or too little. I know I'll get it right and then, I'll send it to her.
I really hate being an over analyzer.
Well, I am rethinking my career choiceDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-5621769235254696742011-10-12T06:06:00.001-07:002011-10-17T13:24:03.411-07:00SleepingFor the last several nights, I've been so tired and ready for bed early in the evening. When I finally hit the sack, I cannot fall asleep. I toss and turn, turn and toss. It's quite agonizing when I know how tired I am. Last night, I went to bed just after 10PM and didn't fall asleep until just after 2AM. Then, about 2:22AM, Bethany came in and said that she couldn't fall asleep. Oh my, sheDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-37479956891622807302011-10-08T09:53:00.000-07:002011-10-08T09:53:55.831-07:00Pondering what to do....I am such an analyzer and weigh the pros and cons of everything. Times like these, I really wish that I could call heaven and ask to talk to Luke. He always, and I mean always had the right answers for me. Without a doubt, he would know what I should do. Since I can't talk to him, I go with my gut and follow my heart. I don't want to live with regrets.
In my opinion, I feel like it took a Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-71285380096942322062011-10-07T11:04:00.000-07:002011-10-07T11:04:26.102-07:00Utter amazement... Wow!!!!22 years ago tonight, I gave birth to my first baby girl. A year ago tomorrow morning, I found out exactly who my little girl was/is. In February of this year, my girl found out that I made contact with her parents. Last night, I checked the mail and to my surprise, I received a letter from my girl. I served my kids dinner and brought the letter into my room. I sat on my bed and closed my Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-37351108125224063452011-10-05T21:48:00.000-07:002011-10-05T21:48:37.517-07:00A better dayI am working very diligently with my internal dialog. Every single time when I feel like something negative is going to cross my mind, I instantly stop and say something positive and encouraging.
Today, I scheduled myself for my second shift for the internship. I really had to keep myself from feeling panicky about going. I reminded myself that I can do this and it will get better each and Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-79090489748264271352011-10-04T06:59:00.000-07:002011-10-04T11:08:02.294-07:00Amazingly AwfulI'm definitely not myself right now.
As I was in bed last night reflecting my life, I was picking myself apart. I am so negative right now. I think my poor me attitude needs to shift and I need to quit being so awful to myself forever.
I am going through the motions of life. I am medicating myself with food and Dr. Pepper. My stomach is very unhappy with me and protests very violently Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-6973276738396039012011-09-29T07:04:00.000-07:002011-09-30T13:49:39.430-07:00ProgressAfter I posted my last entry, I took a shower and decided that I was going to quit the internship. That decision felt right and good. I felt relief. When I got out of the shower, I called my mom to see if she was home. She was, so I went down to her house. I cried and cried and cried. I told her that I was going to quit. She did a lot of listening and delicately gave me a little advice or Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-5639240101586977842011-09-26T09:19:00.000-07:002011-09-26T09:51:03.110-07:00StrugglingI know that when I start a hard semester, I want to quit.
In Anatomy and Physiology, you have to remember so much stuff. I am having a hard time remembering anything. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will have to take this class again because I just cannot retain anything.
I interned for the first time last Wednesday and I was nervous. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to sign Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-14087472224309480362011-09-25T21:28:00.000-07:002011-09-25T21:28:08.468-07:00P. U.A highlight...
This anatomy and physiology class stinks, literally. We are studying bones, yes cadaver bones. We look at them, study them and try and name every grove, divot, foramen, and name of each bone. I'm working with 4 other people in my lab group. We were looking at the femur.
The class was about over and I was feeling rather punchy. Well, we all were. We were holding the head of Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-67598071071263265142011-09-24T07:56:00.000-07:002011-09-24T07:56:33.599-07:00DepressedI want to stay in bed for the rest of my life. I am so unhappy.
My internal dialog is not very nice right now. I'm a loser. I'm a bad mom. I'm effing stupid.
I am not doing well.
I want to write about it, but I don't feel like it.
School is awful.
Not a fan of the internship.
Questioning if being an RN is right for me.
Not being the mom that I want to be.
I suck.
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-73482385122221599412011-09-23T09:10:00.000-07:002011-09-23T09:31:46.942-07:00September 13, 2004Luke needed Bethany with him after learning that sweet baby Allie went to heaven.
Because of sweet baby Allie, our family walked in honor of sweet baby Allie.
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-65390191052751052082011-09-13T12:28:00.000-07:002011-09-13T12:28:42.284-07:00A day laterWhile I was in lecture today, I knew what the professor was talking about. I think that as long as I read before the lectures and the labs, then I should do better on my tests.
Tera, thanks for you kind words. I know I can do this, and I will.
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-55892755947830106462011-09-12T14:06:00.000-07:002011-09-12T14:06:38.099-07:00RealityReality hurts. I knew I failed my lab practical and I really did. I am so ashamed of myself because I know that I can do better. All I want to do is crawl in bed and never get out. I want to cry and give up. Shouldn't I just work as a receptionist or a greeter at Wal*Mart?
I thought my biology class was hard, but it was easy compared to this. I want to quit.
I got a 62/100 on my first Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-24642230741374077622011-09-08T22:42:00.000-07:002011-09-08T22:42:17.471-07:00An Epic FailIt's been awhile since I've written. I decided not to go with blogher at this time, so you won't see any ads on my blog. I haven't started interning yet because I needed to get a few blood tests done and get a hep a & hep b shot. OUCH, plus two TB tests. I guess they're valley girls and want to be like totally fursure, fursure. Plus, the HR department had a flood and the interns couldn't getDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-43168135533599210072011-08-30T21:51:00.000-07:002011-09-01T06:40:35.944-07:00Lemonade out of lemonsOn Sunday, I had my final day of training, so that morning like every other morning, I made myself iced tea. I went into the garage to the up right freezer and got a bag of ice out of it. Then, I went off to training.
On my way home, I met my sister in law and picked up my kids from her and her husband. When we came home, Kyle asked, "Who was the last person in the freezer?"
Crap. Crap. Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-64914473747177686652011-08-28T21:55:00.000-07:002011-08-28T21:55:49.113-07:00Well, I did it.Today was my third and final day of training for the internship. I had to take a test and a lab practical. I passed both of them, so I will be an intern for a local hospital. I have to volunteer 280 hours and it will take 15 months. I will find out if this is the career for me or not. I can't start until I turn in my immunization records and I'll have everything by Thursday, then I can startDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-81043955735424477902011-08-24T09:44:00.000-07:002011-08-24T09:44:48.836-07:00Month 5A few posts ago, I wrote that I had two topics that I wanted to write about, so here they are.
Part 1: Weight
Weight 155.8 ~ down 0.1 lbs
Actual Waist 33 inches ~ down 0.5 of an inch from month 2. (I used to measure my belly button area, but it's not the smallest area in my waist area, and Dr. Oz says to measure the smallest area. My waist goal is to be half of my height, which is 29.5 inchesDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-64302291347418146022011-08-16T23:13:00.000-07:002011-08-16T23:13:40.374-07:00So VainWhen I'm out shopping, I look at every single man that I come across and check him out. If he's good looking, then I will look at his left hand to see if he has a ring on his finger. There are times when I can't see his hands, so I look for other signs, such as diapers in his basket or stuff that would be for a family instead of just him. The other day, I noticed a purse in the basket, so I Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-2370784844261147162011-08-14T11:27:00.000-07:002011-08-16T12:35:30.663-07:00What a bum!I have been feeling lazy the last few days, so I've been hanging out on the sofa. I have Netflix, so I've been watching a ton of movies lately. Here's my take on what I've watched.
The Dilemma - LAME & Fast forwarded through most of it.
Picture Perfect - Predictable
True Grit - A bit gritty in some places, but the girl has true tenacity.
Soul Surfer - Inspirational (When we read about Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-39022767201550906442011-08-09T21:38:00.000-07:002011-08-09T21:38:22.794-07:00Feeling CrankyMy family has been suffering for the yesterday and today because I'm seriously pmsing and it's not pretty. I am so grouchy and short tempered. I feel sorry for the kids because they are walking on pins and needles around me. I honestly feel like I need to walk on pins and needles around myself too. If I could just lock myself in my room for a couple of days, I would, but I can't. I explainedDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-51823404028616802182011-08-08T17:45:00.000-07:002011-08-08T17:45:59.671-07:0010 More DaysThis summer seemed like it has lasted forever. We only took one family vacation, but it was a long 10 day trip, so that was fun. The kids go back to school in 10 days. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not.
I planned that we would get up early every morning and walk, but that didn't happen.
I planned that the kids would read every day to me, but that didn't last very long.
I Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-42750244208032147592011-08-07T10:56:00.000-07:002011-08-07T10:56:00.697-07:00InterestingSo, I still read my half-sister's website and she writes tidbits about her life. Well, I find it interesting that she was going to the blogher conference in San Diego and asked if anyone would want to meet up for a cup of coffee. It sort of bugs me because she doesn't want anything to do with me, but yet offers strangers for coffee. Weird. I was recently invited to join blogher, and I'm in Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-40125459588646384062011-08-06T18:33:00.000-07:002011-08-06T18:33:03.414-07:00More StepsWhen I was 16 years old and pregnant with Caitlin, my mom delivered my baby brother at 32 weeks. He was given just hours to live, and then little by little he started getting stronger. He came home on his 23rd day of life. But before he could home, my mom, dad, and I had to learn infant CPR. We knew that I would be very hands on with him, so I had to learn too. Thankfully, he never needed toDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-1220174234100487382011-08-02T23:15:00.000-07:002011-08-02T23:15:43.404-07:00Alotabit nervous.I had my interview on Sunday for the internship. I was feeling nervous and completely over dressed. I own two skirts, one is above the knee and very form fitting, and the other is a size too small and hits below my knee. I like both, but one was more appropriate for the interview, and it so happens to be the skirt that I wore to Luke's funeral. Fortunately, I was able to zip the skirt and Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-24650596366098562242011-07-31T20:48:00.000-07:002011-07-31T20:48:57.087-07:00Too Cute!Bethany and her friend were taking a summer performance class, so I took the girls, and her parents brought them home. While we were driving to one of the practices, my sweet mischievous girl asked her friend if she thought that I was short. Her friend did not want to hurt my feelings, so she hemmed and hawwed. She thought about it for a minute trying to figure out how to politely answer the Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-74269000934187070232011-07-27T10:02:00.000-07:002011-07-27T14:21:08.279-07:00W in W156.2 lbs.
I merged my regular blog with my fettle blog because I wanted it combined. I thought that having a second blog just about my fettle life would help me in this journey, but it hasn't. I'm not a divided person and trying to keep those two worlds separated, wasn't working for me. I just need one place to spew my thoughts and purge my emotions.
I don't feel like typing right now, so Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-25261657715391642752011-07-25T10:42:00.000-07:002011-07-25T10:42:27.291-07:00What a dope.I always pay my bills online and always pay them when they are due. It shocks the living daylights out of me, when I actually forget a payment. I did that not too long ago with my Sears bill. I wrote that I had paid it in my check book and in my bill folder where I keep track of all of my bills. I panicked because with Sears I have no interest for a year and was deathly afraid that I was Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-53161835487693624272011-07-24T10:16:00.000-07:002011-08-01T11:06:33.942-07:00Month 4Weight 155.9 ~ down 2.9 lbs
Belly Button 35 inches ~ down 1.5 inches
Hip Folds 40.5 inches ~ down 0.75 inches
R Thigh 25.5 inches ~ same
L Thigh 25.5 inches ~ same
Breast 40.5 inches ~ down 1 inch
Under Breast ~ 34.5 inches ~ same
Over all, my numbers are going down. I feel like a yo-yo ~ up. down. up. down. I hope I can be consistent and the numbers fall as they may. I'm not restricting Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-49139320223355112492011-07-22T13:26:00.000-07:002011-07-22T13:26:35.230-07:00One Step CloserI'm super excited. I got an interview with the internship that I wrote about here. I couldn't find any appointments available, so I emailed the contact person. She emailed me this morning and said that they added a few more dates for interviews because it's very popular. She also warned that the interview times fill up quickly, so I went straight to their website and booked myself an Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-45589221465755889612011-07-20T11:23:00.000-07:002011-07-21T21:03:47.826-07:00Home Improvements NeededRandom Order
Hall bathroom - new bathtub, tile on walls and floors
Shower doors - both bathrooms
New flooring - kitchen, living room, dining room, bedrooms
Insulation - attic & outside walls
Electrical Panel
Garage rewiring - patio lighting
Oleander trees behind the back wall.
Attic fan
Kitchen cupboards, sink, counter tops.
Surround sound speakers for ceiling.
Closet organizer for Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-66439591370516327342011-07-20T10:15:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.269-07:00W in WI'm not surprised by the number on the scale this morning, 157.1 lbs. I did make better choices yesterday.Last night, I had a couple of hours to myself. I had a return at Walmart, so while I was in there, I looked at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but I didn't buy them. I resisted the urge. I was near McDonald's and desperately wanted I Coke, but I didn't want to spend the money and it was Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-22419927486028631032011-07-18T16:20:00.000-07:002011-07-18T16:20:11.024-07:00A little bit of this, a little bit of thatMany, many moons ago, I had started a scrapbook for Caitlin. Once I found her, I decided to finish that scrapbook. When it was done, I really felt like I didn't want to part with it, so I decided to make another one that would be hers. I knew that I wanted to journal in it, and all of the sudden it took on a life of it's own. I basically wrote about my life, her life, our time together, and Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-12953007315692631492011-07-18T14:48:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.269-07:00DisappointedI am so upset with myself. I haven't been much of anything lately regarding my health. I am eating like there's no tomorrow and I am not hungry. I'm bored. I don't have any motivation to change my life. I want the easy fix and there isn't one. I don't want to go to bed at night, so I stay up really late and find myself sleeping in. The day goes by very quickly and I don't do anything.I Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-76742047022558868592011-07-14T21:52:00.000-07:002011-07-14T21:52:21.869-07:00ChoicesI'm not sure if I'm naughty or not, but I know that I am what I am.
I often look at Caitlin's Facebook page to see what she's up too. I get to see what kind of adventures that take place in her life. I am so grateful that she has the life that I wished for her. I am pleased that I (with my mom's help) chose great parents for her.
Am I violating her by reading her conversations with others?Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-89413022577700996422011-07-13T09:25:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.269-07:00W in WToday, I weigh 156.4 lbs. That means I'm up 0.6 lbs from last week. I was thinking of writing a post for the last couple of days, but I didn't feel like it. I was going to write about choices because sometimes, I make really bad ones.Yesterday, I was experiencing a bad day food wise. I only had one Dr. Pepper all day and that's my goal. I'm doing pretty well with it. When I do have a second Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-53068139019660074442011-07-12T14:24:00.000-07:002011-07-12T14:24:39.574-07:00Damask!Damask: a reversible fabric of linen, silk, cotton, or wool, woven with patterns. 2. napery of this material. by Dictionary.com
My mom and I are kind of silly when it comes to words. Instead of saying, "Dumb Ass" we damask. As you can see from above, how offensive can it be being called a piece of reversible fabric?
Well, I was a total DAMASK on Saturday night. I am broke, but that is Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-38537183371594621772011-07-08T14:55:00.000-07:002011-07-08T14:55:59.536-07:00My zip linging experience.Last night after dinner, Tessa and I talked about how emotional I was when I went zip lining in the Red Woods. I felt like I couldn't remember everything exactly and wanted to compare my thoughts of what happened to hers.
Tessa and I had talked about going zip lining and I knew that I wanted to do it and that nothing was going to stop me. Tessa asked me several times if I was sure, and I wasDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-20986025337142326222011-07-07T22:32:00.000-07:002011-07-07T22:32:55.194-07:00It's feels real.I had to see my college counselor today and we went over all of the classes that I need to take. I need 3 more biology classes before I can apply to the nursing program. I will also take extra classes to get my BSN. I know that getting into the nursing program is very competitive, so I asked the counselor how to increase my chances of getting in.
The school picks students by how well they Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-23182378610297643572011-07-06T11:37:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.269-07:00W in WMonth 3, Day 13No change from last week, 155.8 lbs, which is really good considering I haven't walked much or ate very well.I notice that when I'm ovulating all I want to do is eat, mow through everything, wanting copious amounts of chocolate and sweets. I even bought myself chips yesterday. I ate some and put the bag away. I wanted crunchy stuff, so I ate celery and it was very satisfying. Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-82583558913849442562011-07-04T22:24:00.000-07:002011-07-07T22:25:05.314-07:004th of JulyYears and years ago, Luke and I went to a local amusement park for 4th of July. We sat on the curb around a tree in the park, ate a funnel cake, and watched the fireworks. This year, the kids and I have a year pass for the park, so I surprised the kids by taking them there. We only stayed for a couple of hours because we were told that they were not going to have fireworks. I was disappointedDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-23684862683984936332011-06-30T23:04:00.000-07:002011-07-18T10:19:30.422-07:00Future Travel PlansUnited States:
Arizona:
Grand Canyon, Mesa, Sedona, Tucson
Arizona,Colorado, New Mexico, Utah:
Four Corners Monument
Colorado:
Royal Gorge Bridge
New Mexico:
Albuquerque, Taos
Oregon
Washington
Wyoming:
Yellowstone National Park - Old Faithful
Australia:
Victoria
Canada:
Kelowna, Vancouver, Victoria
Mexico:
Ensenada, Puerto Vallarta
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-9668032579502678062011-06-29T18:54:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.269-07:00W in WMonth 3, Day 6155.8 lbs this morning.I had a doctor's appointment today and I wondered what their scale would say with me being fully clothed and with my shoes on. I was only 1 lb heavier. I spoke to the doctor that I want to run a 5K in November, so she said that I should increase my walking distance before I start running. She said to work myself up to 3.5 miles walking, then switch to walk/Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-49845085802116064612011-06-28T23:25:00.000-07:002011-06-29T00:19:15.788-07:00Feeling DifferentI'm not exactly why or how I feel different, but I do.
Here's what I have noticed;
I have weighed myself several times since I've been home and the number on the scale doesn't hold any power over my mood for the day. Sure, my body isn't healthy and I don't like the way my pants feel, but it doesn't impact my day like it used to.
I want to eat healthier and have been eating steamed vegetables Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-5356437007172063722011-06-28T22:56:00.000-07:002011-06-28T22:56:21.146-07:00Family time!June is flying by.
Tessa came down on June 7th. We went through so many photographs and sorted them, so I can scrapbook and fill up Kyle and Bethany's photo albums. It took a day and a half, and we never got through Kyle's. Maybe at Christmas time. We'll see!
Tessa and I went shopping and were planning to have lunch at my favorite restaurant, but I got a call from the kid's school. Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-51530585073966562742011-06-28T22:33:00.000-07:002011-06-28T22:33:47.986-07:00A Message.A couple of years ago, after Luke had passed away, I picked up a book from the library. I can't remember the title of the book, but something inside of me thinks it has something to do with "Christmas Dinner." The book was about a mother and her 5 or 6 daughters and each woman got a chapter in the book to tell her story. One of the daughters, Granddaughter had inherited her grandmother's houseDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-12916939048498274462011-06-28T17:21:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.270-07:00Month 3I was away on vacation when I was supposed to measure in on June 23, so I did my measurements on June 24th.Weight 158.8 lbs . ..+ 0.3 lbsBelly Button 36.5 inches . ..+1.5 inches Hip Folds 41.25 inches. .. + 0.25 inchesR thigh 25.5 inches ... sameL thigh 25.5 inches ... sameBreasts 41.5 inches... + 0.5 inchesUnder Breasts 34.5 ... sameI'm not sure what happened during my travels, but something inDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-85582137228722637442011-06-20T10:24:00.000-07:002011-06-29T09:55:39.556-07:00Zip Lining in the Red WoodsI was crying because I was scared and proud of myself at the same time. I had so many bottled up emotions that I couldn't express, so tears flowed from my eyes.
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-77167073000719994492011-06-18T22:31:00.003-07:002011-06-18T22:31:56.933-07:00Why was Dusty Crying?Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-76364432713941821182011-06-08T08:22:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.270-07:00W in W,Today is month 2, day 17.I have not walked or did much this week because Kim hurt her back and I can't find the motivation in me to do it by myself. Today's W in W is 158.4. I'm down a tenth of a pound. I'll take it, especially with the amount of junk that I've eaten. I will not be weighing in next week because I won't be home.Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-87006484735901816332011-06-06T09:41:00.000-07:002011-06-06T09:41:30.574-07:00Honesty...While I was in Jr. High and High School, I only really did enough to pass the class. When I was earning my AA, I just did enough to pass the class. I got mostly B's, a few A's, and the rest were C's. Throughout my life, my mom and I heard, "only if Dusty applied herself...."
When I started back at college a couple of years ago, I started with Psychology and my final English class. I was veryDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-89068606231759152712011-06-05T17:28:00.000-07:002011-06-05T17:28:45.149-07:00Thrilled & Proud!!My biology professor posted our grades today and I did it; I squeaked out a "B" in the class. I started to cry when I read my grade. I did it!! I studied for the final and I got an 88%. It brought my over all grade from a 78.8% to an 81.3%. I have three more biology classes to take before I can apply to the nursing program. I'm just so proud of myself and super thrilled that I studied and Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-11298402786585890222011-06-04T10:02:00.000-07:002011-06-04T10:09:18.156-07:00My nerves...Oh my gosh, I still don't know what I got in my biology class and it's driving me crazy. I've come to terms with the fact that the class is over and done with and I get what I get. A part of me is curious to know if I did well enough on my final to get a "B" in the class. I know that I got a "C" for sure, but I'm still hanging on to hope that I squeaked out a "B".
I have so much to do in my Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-85088827562344631392011-06-02T22:20:00.000-07:002011-06-02T22:20:23.101-07:00What a bone head.....I was looking forward to today since my bio class is over with. I was excited to hit up Costco because we are out of salad fixings and veggies. I also really wanted to buy more soil for a few pots in the backyard. All I can think about is tinkering in the backyard!!! So, I was in the check out line and was marveling how long the lines where, when I remembered the soil. I had to leave the Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-2821580920398366632011-06-02T14:04:00.000-07:002011-06-02T14:04:53.650-07:00The finish line!!!I'm so relieved, my biology class is over and done with. I know that I got a "C" for sure, but have my fingers crossed that I did well enough to get a "B" in the class. I'll find out in the next 48 hours.
I can now catch up on laundry, house cleaning, weeding, dishes, grocery shopping and returns. I feel like I can breath now!
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-73346742853988453012011-06-01T07:28:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.270-07:00Weigh in Wed.: Month 2, Day 10I have decided that I need to come to terms with the scale, and tucking it away and running from it will not work for me. I equate it to me burying my feelings, stuffing my grief into a box, and dismissing hurtful stuff, so I will work through the number on the scale and deal with it and one day, I will realize that it's just part of my health and the number will not define me.Two of my friendsDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-86964608655507268072011-05-31T21:41:00.000-07:002011-05-31T21:41:56.470-07:00Words of WisdomI spoke to Mama Shepherd tonight, and she told me that I'm very smart (something like that) and that a "C" in biology is acceptable. She told me that just refresh what I've already learned and not to stress out.
My sister from another mister, Jules was very sweet and shared her words of wisdom with me:
D please stop being so hard on yourself. You are certainly not an idiot. I can't speak forDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-81463453017771789012011-05-29T11:13:00.000-07:002011-05-29T11:13:37.958-07:00What an IDIOT.I'm an idiot. I'm so wicked mean to myself and I hate myself for being mean.
I'm allowing a NUMBER affect my life.
I want the number on the scale to go down.
I want the number of my grade to go up.
It seems like a number determines my happiness or mood.
I'm torturing myself with my weighing myself.
I'm torturing myself with figuring out what I need to get on my final to get a B in Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-191725755020790012011-05-29T09:43:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.270-07:00Ding.Dang.Dumb.I think I'm stuck on stupid. Am I really dumb?I want to be thinner. I want to weigh less. I want to be healthier. I'm not over eating.Since, I've been doing better, I want to see the progress on the scale. I feel like a broken record, I'm not a number, but yet, I feel like that's all I think about. How much do I weigh? What's the number on the scale?I weighed myself yesterday and I was Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-39574873779135818432011-05-27T17:04:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.271-07:00CaloriesI just finished a nutrition class and I learned several things that I think is worth passing on. We need carbohydrates in our diet and they should make up about 50% of our diet. Carbs are a quick energy source that is needed for our body to function properly, and if we don't have them, then our body will break down our muscle and use our muscle as energy. That is a terrible thing to do to our Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-82773887179034605642011-05-27T16:02:00.000-07:002011-05-27T16:02:59.221-07:00Cleansing breath...Today, I had my final in my nutrition class and I am so glad that it's over with. This professor is so darn funny. The exam was 100 questions worth one point each, and one bonus question worth 10 points. I have found a new way to take my test. In the years past, we were not allowed to write on the actual test itself, but now we are. So, I circle all of my answers and if I'm stumped, I cross Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-78944042366926120302011-05-26T17:16:00.000-07:002011-05-26T17:20:04.015-07:00Relief!Today, I took my Biology Lab Practical. It wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, but it was still difficult. I have trouble with the darn metric system and converting grams into micro/nano/giga/kilo/milli or any other unit of measure. I think there's a strong possibility that I at least got a "C". I have resigned myself to the fact that I may only get a "C" in the class and that is still Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-63612049956873693662011-05-25T20:48:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.271-07:00Day 3, Month 2I was feeling very cruddy most of the day yesterday. I was angry with myself. When I get that way, I completely pick on myself and say mean things to myself. Wow, I really need to stop doing that. I wouldn't allow anyone to talk to me the way I talk to myself. I wonder why I allow myself to behave that way to myself. It's not right.I did not want to walk or run with Kim last night, but I Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-7855126960852697092011-05-24T17:23:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.271-07:00Day 2, Month 2I seriously have a mental illness or something. Against my own will and my better judgment, I weighed myself again this morning. WHY? I'm so lame. I was .1 heavier than I was yesterday. Why do I want to torture myself this way? I need to put the scale away once and for all and not weigh myself ever again. I cannot get it across my head that I'm not a number.This journey is so tough.I've Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-20248144871286226132011-05-23T15:21:00.000-07:002011-05-23T15:21:06.758-07:00Feeling ParalyzedI have my Lab Practical on Thursday and my final next Thursday for my biology class. The nursing program really wants you to to pass the class the first time with a "B". My friend is taking the same class with a different professor and he says this class is so difficult to weed out the people who shouldn't move on.
I am paralyzed with fear. I have a 78.7% in the class and there's a 175 Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-63842781805362875002011-05-23T08:52:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.271-07:001st Day, Month 2Oh my. I feel so devastated this morning. I seriously have an awful thought process that I'm trying so hard to change. It isn't working right now, but it will. I have the faith that it will. The scale is ONLY a number. I thoroughly get that, but I cannot absorb it yet. It hasn't become my reality. I want it to so badly and it will.I woke up this morning, got the scale out of the garage Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-59014470599577759072011-05-20T22:32:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.271-07:00Day 28Everyday, I am making better choices and it's becoming habit forming too, which is nice. I'm doing really well with not over eating. I still allow myself things that I want or crave, but what's so amazing is that I'm not craving as much junk. I'm so aware of how bad fast food is that I am actually not wanting to put it into my body. On Tuesday, on my way home from school, I was starving, so IDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-23580108633882585252011-05-17T14:00:00.000-07:002011-05-17T14:00:46.500-07:00The end is near....I have about three weeks of school left and I'm a little excited and scared at the same time. I have been consistently getting a C on my exams and the last one was very upsetting to me. I knew I was doing something wrong with the DNA replication and I couldn't get my head to wrap around doing it a little differently. I stumbled over the problem for a while, and I knew that I was doing it wrongDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-47089012670342225002011-05-15T15:02:00.000-07:002011-05-15T15:02:09.228-07:00Mood Swings?!?!Yesterday afternoon, I laid down for a nap. While I was lying there, I noticed that I was feeling better emotionally. I really noticed it when I went to bed last night. I haven't started my period, but I guess writing about it and talking to myself and Kim, made a difference. What a relief!
Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-90487449450272108942011-05-14T11:19:00.000-07:002011-05-14T11:19:03.105-07:00Is it time yet?I think my period is due because of my darn mood. I could not fall asleep last night, so I got up and ate and watched television until 4AM. I am super tired right now and I woke up with a migraine. I'm not surprised because when I don't get enough sleep, I get migraines.
My mom said that I should see the doctor to see if I have P.M.D.D. This isn't the first time we talked about it. I Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-27068232346603982452011-05-13T23:36:00.000-07:002011-05-13T23:36:00.262-07:00What the heck....I seriously do not understand myself.
I've been walking most nights with my friend Kim. I've been enjoying it. I have taken a couple of bike rides and it makes me realize how out of shape I'm in. I park at the furthest point at school so I have to walk up almost 90 steps (not all in a row) and it usually takes me about 10 minutes or so to get across campus. After class is over, on ThursdaysDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-50190457949911354762011-05-09T11:05:00.000-07:002011-05-09T11:05:20.996-07:00Interesting.This past weekend, we went to family camp. I drove the normal route that I'm familiar with, so it wasn't so bad. We had a great time and I tried climbing the rock wall again. Bethany made it to the top 4 times and Kyle said he made it twice, but I'm not so sure. I didn't make it to the top, but that's okay. I was a little scared to do it, but I did it anyway.
On our way home, I plugged in Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-26737462296830259672011-05-09T08:54:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.272-07:00Day 17It seems like it's been a really long time since I weighed myself. My brain keeps going back to how much I weigh? Did I lose weight? I really am fighting this like crazy. I want to change my thinking into, "How do I feel?" "How do my clothes fit?" "Do I feel good about the choices I have been making?" "Can I do better?"Yesterday was Mother's Day and I really ate poorly and let myself get Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-5764414328232120272011-05-06T09:14:00.000-07:002011-05-06T09:20:52.009-07:00Wow!!!The kids and I have been walking a lot at night. We've been taking the pooch too. I often say how much I hate the pooch and threaten her that I'm going to throw her on the bbq and we're going to have a "hot dog" for dinner. She could careless about my threats. She knows that it would never happen, but I still threaten. About a week before my period, I turn into a different Dusty, so the Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-28197340675151732222011-05-05T23:47:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.272-07:00Day 13I walked again with Kim and our children. It feels really good to walk around the park and have someone to talk to.I didn't have much to eat today because I didn't feel like eating this morning. I did have a lot of soda though which isn't good, but it is what it is. Around 2ish, I bought myself an El Pollo Loco chicken bowl and ate a little more than half. I ate a few too many bites because IDustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-8475947851992424082011-05-04T22:33:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:36:20.272-07:00Day 12I was pleased with myself most of the day. I took a bike ride with the pooch and ate okay. I didn't nap like I've been doing. I didn't do a lot of homework or studying, but oh-well. I exercised and I did okay with eating. I picked the kids up from school and got an ear full from Carol telling me about Kyle. Kyle's just not doing his work or trying in school. It's so hard being a single Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-49065443378705578042011-05-04T10:40:00.000-07:002011-05-04T10:40:25.116-07:00Shoulda, woulda, coulda....My friend Kim and I have been walking most nights at a local park. She brings her son, while I bring my two kids and the pooch. Last night was a little different. I was babysitting my neighbor's two kids and Kim brought her 20 year old daughter. On the way to the park, Kyle saw two of his friends, so the came to the park too. Bethany is 7 1/2 and the neighbor's daughter is 3 1/2 and they Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-15125224306290913452011-05-02T21:32:00.000-07:002011-05-02T21:32:30.626-07:00ChillsTonight, Bethany had softball practice. Just as we were leaving, I could hear that something was wrong. The park is up on a hill, so we can see the freeway very well. I instantly looked at the freeway when I heard the noise. I scanned the vehicles and zoomed in on an orange and white van. It just caught my eye. I could see that it was trying to slow down. I think I may have said, "Oh my Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17107349.post-51245285516623417002011-05-02T08:11:00.000-07:002011-05-02T08:11:57.348-07:00Can you hear me?I have noticed lately that what I have to say really doesn't matter at all. I could say that I have a red penis and it glows in the dark and I would not get a reaction.
Why is it that people have a hard time just listening? I see it all of the time. Person A is talking, while person B is thinking of what to say next and wanting to interrupt. I can see Person B's wheels turning and they Dustyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02279391098696417264noreply@blogger.com0